ANGER

"Do I repent daily and frequently, especially of improper and unkind feelings, such as anger, impatience, sarcasm and cynicism? Do I understand that anger and irritation are wrong, even when I am in the right; that anger is an offense to the Spirit and is not the Lord's way of solving differences and frustrations?

Anger, irritation, annoyance, are all from below. My, how the devil loves to separate people: spouses from each other, children from parents, ward members from each other, brothers and sisters and so on. BYU colleague Catherine Thomas said that the reason we have abrasive people in our lives is so we can learn to develop divine love.

This life is a laboratory for practicing divine love. Until we get the hang of it, we will have one irritating person after another come into our lives to give us plenty of practice. Every disciple of Christ is expected to learn to control his or her strong feelings.

Some people these days consider themselves victims of their own anger. Elder Lynn G. Robbins explained that each of us can choose whether or not to react with anger:
'A cunning part of Satan's strategy is to dissociate anger from agency, making us believe that we are victims of an emotion that we cannot control. We hear, 'I lost my temper.' Losing one's temper is an interesting choice of words that has become a widely used idiom.

To 'lose something' implies 'not meaning to,' 'accidental,' 'involuntary,' 'not responsible;' careless perhaps but 'not responsible.' 'He made me mad.' This is another phrase we hear, also implying lack of control or agency. This is a myth that must be debunked. No one makes us mad. Others don't make us angry. There is no force involved. Becoming angry is a conscious choice, a decision; therefore, we can make the choice not to become angry. We choose!

To those who say, 'But I can't help myself,' author William Wilbanks responds: 'Nonsense.' Aggression,…anger,…screaming and yelling' are all learned strategies in dealing with anger. We choose the one that has proved effective for us in the past. Ever notice how seldom we lose control when frustrated by our boss, but how often we do when annoyed by friends or family?" (Reader's Digest Dec. 1988, pg. 24) (Verse by Verse, The Book of Mormon, Ogden & Skinner, pgs. 153-154)